Finland. The country with a whole lot of lakes lying around. The country where carefree humans like The Dudesons can run butt naked without ending up behind bars. The country where Metal is mainstream, unlike here where most people listen to is Lady Gaga (I mean WTF is with that name? And meaning of Gaga? OH COME ON -.-). The country that I want to visit or better still, move there permanently and never going back to this wretched nation.

There are many reasons why I want to go to Finland most of them well, has to do with Metal. So, here are my reasons.


1. They have the most awesomest president ever, Tarja Halonen. (I would kill just to shake her hand and get her autograph HAHAHA) The reason why she's awesome? Well, SHE LOVES & EMBRACES METAL! Now, tell me, is there any other president that you know that embraces Metal & has thousands of metallers chanting her name at a Metal festival? I DON'T THINK SO. HAH!


2. Nokia. I MEAN IT'S MOTHER FUCKING NOKIA! They make phones that is so bloody awesome, it makes iPhone look like a pile of dog poo.


3. Wife carrying competition. Yes. Men carry their wives and the winner gets a pair of mobile phones, obviously Nokia and their wife's weight in beer. Now that's a competition worth entering. Lets just pray I get married to someone who wants to carry me around and wants to win a Nokia phone.


4. FME (stands for Finnish Metal Expo). Yes, they have a so-called Metal expo going on in the country's capital annually. Here, we have meaningless & pointless fairs like Singapore Food Expo, Furniture Fair, more food related expo etc. So, I would rather pack my bags, head to Helsinki for some Metal expo as there's opportunities to meet Finnish bands, get a glimpse at the latest equipment guitar companies has to offer & get the best offers in band merchandise.


5. Reindeers & mooses crossing the road. I know, you wanna say that I can also see other animals like cows crossing the road in Malaysia but WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO GO TO MALAYSIA? Also, those animals are unique. They have antlers. Antlers look like horns. Horns = metal. So, reindeers & mooses are metal. Yes ah!


6. Music festivals. Finland is BIG in music festivals. Every city has their own festivals, no kidding. Helsinki has their Tuska Open Air. Turku has Ruisrock. Provinssirock in Seinäjoki. Jalometalli in Oulu. And they bring their kids along, even to Metal festivals. How awesome! Nurture from young. Haha.


7. Geography & environment. I don't really like nature but if I were to live in Finland, I think I will love nature like how I love my food. There's more than 180 000 lakes in the country (another reason to jump in lakes naked with your friends) , cool climate - means there's no reason for you to sweat like pigs unless you're running away from their police or something. And also, if you go up, to Northern Finland, also known as Lapland, there's a chance to experience midnight sun & the sun doesn't set for 75 continuous days in summer and it doesn't rise for approx 51 days in winter! HOW FUCKING COOL! (no wonder many Finnish bands sing about forests)


8. Suomalainen (translation: Finnish language). The Finns have the most insanest, awesomest, coolest language ever. Also, it's the only language that I find is more vulgar than Malay or Hokkien. Like seriously. "Isäs oli runkku kun sua teki!" means - Your dad was a wanker when he made you. Perkele is the most powerful curseword ever known to mankind. Heh. And their accents are just so sexy.


9. Nuclear power plants. Singapore doesn't have a nuclear reactor and they have. Nuclear can be used as a form of weapon. Weapon = to defend or attack. Defending or attacking is metal (hahah). So nuclear reactors = metal. Hail Finland. \m/


10. Lastly, the reason I want to visit/move permanently to Finland is because it's BLOODY FUCKING FINLAND! THE PROMISED LAND OF HEAVY FUCKING METAL! The whole country is nuts about metal. They have metal masses in churches, all radio stations play metal - means no shitty talentless prettyface mass-marketed Disney rodents like Jonas Brothers or whatever BS like that, the best bands in the world come from Finland and they have a kickass female president. Salmiakki, Koskenkorva, F1 drivers Heikki Kovalainen & Kimi Raikkonen, lyric soprano singer Tarja Turunen, Moomin, Marimekko, one of the best national ice hockey team, three guys shredding the cello while doing windmill headbangs etc. I mean come on, Finland is like a blessing from God to us.

And lastly, here's a trailer from Finland: Promised Land Of Heavy Metal.

Finland. The country with a whole lot of lakes lying around. The country where carefree humans like The Dudesons can run butt naked without ending up behind bars. The country where Metal is mainstream, unlike here where most people listen to is Lady Gaga (I mean WTF is with that name? And meaning of Gaga? OH COME ON -.-). The country that I want to visit or better still, move there permanently and never going back to this wretched nation.

There are many reasons why I want to go to Finland most of them well, has to do with Metal. So, here are my reasons.


1. They have the most awesomest president ever, Tarja Halonen. (I would kill just to shake her hand and get her autograph HAHAHA) The reason why she's awesome? Well, SHE LOVES & EMBRACES METAL! Now, tell me, is there any other president that you know that embraces Metal & has thousands of metallers chanting her name at a Metal festival? I DON'T THINK SO. HAH!


2. Nokia. I MEAN IT'S MOTHER FUCKING NOKIA! They make phones that is so bloody awesome, it makes iPhone look like a pile of dog poo.


3. Wife carrying competition. Yes. Men carry their wives and the winner gets a pair of mobile phones, obviously Nokia and their wife's weight in beer. Now that's a competition worth entering. Lets just pray I get married to someone who wants to carry me around and wants to win a Nokia phone.


4. FME (stands for Finnish Metal Expo). Yes, they have a so-called Metal expo going on in the country's capital annually. Here, we have meaningless & pointless fairs like Singapore Food Expo, Furniture Fair, more food related expo etc. So, I would rather pack my bags, head to Helsinki for some Metal expo as there's opportunities to meet Finnish bands, get a glimpse at the latest equipment guitar companies has to offer & get the best offers in band merchandise.


5. Reindeers & mooses crossing the road. I know, you wanna say that I can also see other animals like cows crossing the road in Malaysia but WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO GO TO MALAYSIA? Also, those animals are unique. They have antlers. Antlers look like horns. Horns = metal. So, reindeers & mooses are metal. Yes ah!


6. Music festivals. Finland is BIG in music festivals. Every city has their own festivals, no kidding. Helsinki has their Tuska Open Air. Turku has Ruisrock. Provinssirock in Seinäjoki. Jalometalli in Oulu. And they bring their kids along, even to Metal festivals. How awesome! Nurture from young. Haha.


7. Geography & environment. I don't really like nature but if I were to live in Finland, I think I will love nature like how I love my food. There's more than 180 000 lakes in the country (another reason to jump in lakes naked with your friends) , cool climate - means there's no reason for you to sweat like pigs unless you're running away from their police or something. And also, if you go up, to Northern Finland, also known as Lapland, there's a chance to experience midnight sun & the sun doesn't set for 75 continuous days in summer and it doesn't rise for approx 51 days in winter! HOW FUCKING COOL! (no wonder many Finnish bands sing about forests)


8. Suomalainen (translation: Finnish language). The Finns have the most insanest, awesomest, coolest language ever. Also, it's the only language that I find is more vulgar than Malay or Hokkien. Like seriously. "Isäs oli runkku kun sua teki!" means - Your dad was a wanker when he made you. Perkele is the most powerful curseword ever known to mankind. Heh. And their accents are just so sexy.


9. Nuclear power plants. Singapore doesn't have a nuclear reactor and they have. Nuclear can be used as a form of weapon. Weapon = to defend or attack. Defending or attacking is metal (hahah). So nuclear reactors = metal. Hail Finland. \m/


10. Lastly, the reason I want to visit/move permanently to Finland is because it's BLOODY FUCKING FINLAND! THE PROMISED LAND OF HEAVY FUCKING METAL! The whole country is nuts about metal. They have metal masses in churches, all radio stations play metal - means no shitty talentless prettyface mass-marketed Disney rodents like Jonas Brothers or whatever BS like that, the best bands in the world come from Finland and they have a kickass female president. Salmiakki, Koskenkorva, F1 drivers Heikki Kovalainen & Kimi Raikkonen, lyric soprano singer Tarja Turunen, Moomin, Marimekko, one of the best national ice hockey team, three guys shredding the cello while doing windmill headbangs etc. I mean come on, Finland is like a blessing from God to us.

And lastly, here's a trailer from Finland: Promised Land Of Heavy Metal.